When a couple gets engaged, they are excited! They are feeling all the feels and soaking in all the precious moments that come with being newly engaged. At some point the idea that they have to start wedding planning kicks in. Sometime this happens because mom and dad started asking questions or a close friend started asking about the bridal party. Or maybe, it’s because the future Mrs. has always dreamed of getting married and can’t wait to bring her dreams into reality. Either way, moving from the engagement bubble into the planning phase can be difficult.
How do they keep the same magical joy that the engagement brings while also beginning to plan?
If you are one of those couples I just described, take a deep breath because you are in the right place! Before you start planning anything, you have to have the Fiancé Talk. This is the talk where you both communicate everything. This is what needs to happen before you plan a single thing. So, before you think you’ve decided on sage green for the bridesmaids’ dresses, have this chat.
This is what the two of you should discuss…
What Type of Wedding?
Do you want a traditional wedding or a destination? Or maybe a microwedding or even an elopement?! Before you plan anything else, this is question #1. You have to get on the same page here before you move forward because this is going to dictate everything else.
What’s the Guest Count?
Are you inviting less than 50 or 200+? Depending on your answer to the question above, you may already have an idea of what the guest count is going to be. You two should decide on a range, not necessarily the exact number. 100-125 is very different than 150-175 in both the size venue you would need and the cost associated with those different ranges so hash that out here.
Is there a specific date you both love like a first date anniversary or dating anniversary? Do you want to get married during a specific season? Is there a day of the week or time of day you want to get married? It’s going to be easier to reach out to venues with a criteria of what you’re looking so they can let you know what they have available.
Are you going to get married near where you live or close to where your family lives? Is there a place you love that you would rather get married instead? Keep in mind if your guests would be willing to travel and how far. Even though you may not be having a destination wedding, a two-hour drive to your guests may feel like a destination wedding.
What’s The Style?
This is all about the aesthetics of the day. Are you going to look for traditional ballroom venues or beautiful tented wedding space? Maybe a barn or a unique venue space like a library or a museum is more your style. Decide here what kind of vibe you want your day to have.
The Fiancé Talk is designed to keep your decisions anchored to the foundation of your wedding planning. It’s easy to find really cool ideas on Pinterest and suddenly want a winter wonderland theme wedding when previously you decided you wanted a modern and classic design. I’m not saying you can’t change your mind, but my question to you is “Are you going it for the right reason or because you saw a cool picture?” By going through the Fiancé Talk and making decisions together from the start you are building a solid foundation that the two of you agree on, which is going to make wedding planning easier from the start. When there are so many decisions coming at you later on in the planning process, the decisions you two agreed on at the start is what is going to keep you grounded in your vision. Keep coming back to what you discussed in your Fiancé Talk and use that as a reminder about how your wedding day is going to be how the two of you envisioned it from the start.